Thursday, March 10, 2011

What's up, Brain?

Hey brain, what are you thinking lately?  Apparently some pretty out there kind of things, and I don’t really appreciate it besides the fact that it’s hilarious and undoubtedly disturbing.

Some people say that dreams do come true, but I hope not.  If that’s the case, I just gave birth to a beef baby and I’m cooking that sucker up.  But, seriously, I'm starving, and I really did have a dream that I gave birth to hamburger meat, and a plastic 3 inch tall baby where the doctor in my “dream” explained to me that it was the baby BEFORE the baby and tossed it all over his shoulder. 

I realize that you don’t have control over your subconscious, but come on brain.  Where did you pull that from?  I don’t have any kind memory bank that could pull anything even remotely close to that out of it.  Do I?  And, people have been explaining to me that when you are pregnant that you have dreams of giving birth to weird things.  I don’t know about you, but I hope that when that time comes that God doesn’t so choose to bring the message in the form of a one pound 80/20 organic grass fed baby, baby.  I feel like it would be more like a T-bone or filet mignon, you know… something with class.

Touché conduits of thoughts and power, touché. 


  1. I haven't had any dreams about giving birth to anything. I do however keep having dreams that I forget I'm pregnant and get super drunk and do a ton of drugs (because that's what I'm always normally doing when I'm not pregnant). And then when I'm all crazy high on drugs I remember ooops I'm pregnant and have a panic attack that wakes me up.

  2. Is someone close to you pregnant? Ever since I have been pregnant, my younger sister keeps having dreams she gives birth to my baby or her water breaks.
    weird stuff.

  3. I had a dream when I was pregnant that I was breastfeeding and I looked down and it was a baby with a duck bill.....Ouch!! Pretty scary. I was so sure that Oliver was going to be a duck!

  4. I had a dream jess when I was pregnant with you that you were around some water and it was really strong and I called you susie homemaker. Wonder why I thought of that?