Saturday, January 4, 2014

Trending on Facebook

After you sift through the endless stolen quips on people's statuses trying to be ironic or funny or both, and the endless selfies (which btw I hate that word), and the poor grammar and yadda yadda yadda, someone has a new baby, I went on a vacation look at me, my life sucks, I have a vague status now please stay out of my business while simultaneously asking me what is really wrong...etc etc etc

Now, what has been different about Facebook lately is a lot more posts on parenting tips.  The only problem is that these tips are being circulated by either non parents or parents of one child.  There is one that I saw that is particularly ridiculous about forcing your child to sit still in church by putting them in a chair forever at home and making them sit there.  I'd like to see any one of these self righteous blowholes to take either one of my children and attempt to make them sit still, anywhere.  They are two years old, and I always get compliments every where we go on how well behaved they are.  Let me clear this up, I expect them to behave when we are in public.  I expect them to listen to me, but the last thing I expect is for them to ever sit still!  I lead by example for crying out loud, and expect them to act accordingly.  If they don't, they get time out or things taken away but I don't degrade them by forcibly making them do or not do anything and they are doing just fine. I don't want to meet a two year old that sits still because they are probably the most boring child in the world and have no imagination.  They are probably as brain dead as their parents, and actually, I do want to meet them so that I can take them home with me and let them act like a child like they are made to.  Not all children fit into the same bubble, and each parent does just what they can to ensure that their child is getting the best of everything they can.  I bet the person that wrote this guide on getting your kids to sit still, and the people circulating it, are cut from the same string.  It's a stinky string that likes to believe they are cut from above us, but their string stinks less than mine and mine cost half as much.  Knock off string, looks just like the real thing... okay, I'm getting off point.

Make your kids mind, teach them manners, teach them responsibility, teach them integrity, but more importantly, teach them it's okay to act like a child!

Go home excessively self invigorating uppity 'rents, you're drunk!