Dear Charlie Sheen,
Yes, you are a “movie star”… well, sort of. You are well known at least for partying… I mean I wouldn’t count Two and Half Men, Hot Shots part Deux, or a mediocre extra role in Ferris Buellers Day Off as a means to notoriety or a theatrical award winning performance. However, theatrics is a definite part of your everyday life, isn’t it? Wouldn’t you say any other crack head with money would do exactly what you did; hire some hookers, and snort some blow? Except they would be thrown in jail if caught, and because of your “superiority” to the rest of society you do not qualify for such regards as a normal crack head might.
You sure do talk like a normal crack head… and I quote:
"I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body." – Charlie Sheen via Twitter
I believe that Charlie the Unicorn makes more sense to me right now, and I’d rather hitch a ride to candy mountain sans my kidneys than join the Charlie Sheen “I’m my own drug” Show. You’re funny, but more in a sad unfiltered crack head kind of way which is also creepy… Just look at what Gary Busey has become.
Charlie, you aren’t the first “celebrity” to do this, not even recently. You have proved to be a better crack head than Lindsay Lohan; kind of like her demented older brother. So, congratulations...
Oh, and besides “winning”, try not losing…. Yourself in a whirlwind of hookers and drugs.
Sincerely,
Jon Cryer
(co-star on Two and Half Men, and the nerd on Pretty in Pink)
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