Wednesday, January 26, 2011

What’s in a skank? That is the question.

A skank is made up of about… hmm… 3 distinct traits. 

One. They possess absolutely no tact in situations of high stress, and tend to lean towards personal attacks when cornered in any situation that makes them feel uncomfortable or confronted about a said lie instead of being mature and reasonable.


Me- “I don’t care about my ex-boyfriend. You can have him. Why are you making up lies about me still wanting him.”

Skank- “Umm, maybe because you’re fat and I’m awesome.”

Two. They insist on wearing clothes that accentuate their assets in ways that are distasteful, and that would make Tucker Max blush. Oh, and they tend to wear so much eye makeup that they really have to concentrate on blinking because their makeup weighs so much that it automatically closes their eyelids if they don’t fight against it.  You know what I'm talking about.  It's like when they look like there is a tarantula on their eyelids and it makes you think about spiders and then you start to lose concentration and you are trying to focus on what they are saying but you can't keep your eyes off their ridiculous makeup/tarantula face and then they ask you a question and you just say "yes" hoping that that answer makes it sound like you were listening when really you were just standing in awe of the horridness of the makeup that is before you.  

And finally, three. They add random people of FB all the time, mainly guys, trying to get attention. Also, they constantly post pictures of themselves in “sexy” instances trying to see how many “yr so hawt” comments they can get by random people that they don’t even know.

I feel that this is a growing trend, and I say that we should stand up against the tyrannical skanks that be and generally bring back the cynical/sarcastic woman in all of us.

You with me?


  1. so if i told you, "ur so hawt" right now...what would that mean about our relationship? am i the skank or the sarcastic one? or wait! am i a tyrant who doesn't even know it? omg. someone needs to overthrow me RIGHT NOW. where's edna when we need her?!?!

    i digress. i also agree with said statement and would like to supplement another bullet to this facinating theory you got brewing:

    4. agrevious skanks get bold cause they feel protected by the magical powers of facebook and knowing that the object of jealousy lives so far away.

    honestly, that's probably what all this BS that skanks profess are...written jealousies that skanks can't say aloud. cause once they compare their skankified selves with someone who actually possesses an amazing heart and kind soul they find themselves falling super duper short.

    oh and i like turtles.


  2. God Loves skanks too and they just need someone to help them understand that they are looking for love in all the wrong places.
    Mamma Strongwater.

  3. The offical definition of a skank, according to urban dictionary is:
    Derogatory term for a (usually younger) female, implying trashiness or tackiness, lower-class status, poor hygiene, flakiness, and a scrawny, pockmarked sort of ugliness. May also imply promiscuity, but not necessarily. Can apply to any race, but most commonly used to describe white trash.

  4. I however, have a distate for skanks who are a bit more deceptive then the too much make-up not enough clothes skanks you speak of. The ones I know of creep on facebook and tend to wear sunglasses with extra extra large frames, throw up deuces in every photo and pout their lips to look like a fish. They act innocent but are extremely dangerous. You may not have noticed before but soon you will start noticing peace signs and fish lips every where on FB.