Wednesday, February 9, 2011


I love people.  Correction, I love some people. 

I work in a customer based industry, and unfortunately every now and again I have to listen to some dude go on and on about how awesome they are.  If I had a nickel for every person that was not awesome but thought they were that decided to tell me their life story at work, I’d have about 97 cents-I thought 97 would be funnier than 95; I'm not that horrible at math or common sense abilities, but I digress. 

Seriously, point and case:

This evening, a fairly peculiar man decided to tell me from point A to point B his entire life story.  I’m not exaggerating.  He told me about his childhood and all the way up to where he is now in his life.  Some of it was interesting, but the guy had a wicked cool mustache and for the life of me I couldn’t stay invested in what he was saying.  I’d zoom in and out of the conversation, and then just nod my head.  When I’d catch myself making weird “thinking about something other than what he is saying” faces, I’d try to catch the last part of what he said and respond.  I mean, I didn’t want to be rude.

I guess what I’m saying is that if I cared, I would listen. But honestly, if you want me to hear what you are saying, don’t have a ridiculous face or facial hair.  I’m not saying that I won’t listen if someone is ugly because ugly people usually have the best stories, but what I am saying is that you can help your ridiculous factor to some degree.  I look ridiculous on a weekly basis, so I know what I'm talking about.  I know when I can be taken seriously, and when to be dismissed as a kook.

I did get to throw in the fact that I used to have a crazy stalker, and I filed a police report on him that was about his age (I worded more towards that the guy was between 55-60 so that I wouldn’t offend his prestige & mustache glory)… At this point, I think he got the hint.

So moral of the story, if you have to convince random people you've never met you are awesome at life, you probably aren’t.  Besides, if he would have just said a few words and let the stache speak for itself, I wouldn't have to write this…

Duly noted.


  1. I have been trying to learn how to 'handle' people lately. I tend to have a short fuse and am easily irritated by most everyone. Today I decided the best way for me personally to deal with people is talk less and laugh more. A woman came into my salon today and proceeded to tell me she did not have a license anymore and was horribly upset about it (hmmm, we weren't even talking about cars OR driving) to be polite I said, "oh I am sorry, what happened?" I didn't even care!!! Why did I ask?!?!? She proceeded to yell at me and tell me I was rude for asking her such personal information that was not my business, losing her license was a very traumatic experience she did NOT want to speak about to a stranger... a rude nosy stranger at that!
    Sooo, I'm not sure which is worse, the person who offers you their story without asking, or the one who casually mentions their life then screams at you for (not really) being interested?

  2. I can grow a pretty wicked 'stache if I quit waxing. How long would it have to get to make me awesome?